Don't make out with my wife yet
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
