I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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