I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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