I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
