Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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