this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
