just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
