Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
