Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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