im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have fence marks all over my body
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
