So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
