Pregnant stripper...not hot.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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