Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
