this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
