So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
