Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
