Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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