It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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