Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
