I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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