my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
