My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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