the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
