I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
