i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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