Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
