You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
