I think I died a long time ago.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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