That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
