Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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