garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
