its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
