Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
this must be what syphilis tastes like
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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