I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
