that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
where does the pee come out of this thing
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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