oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
