I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
soo... how was my night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
