what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
