Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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