It's like God shit irony all over that family
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
