walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
