Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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