If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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