so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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