is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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