I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize