On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize