JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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