I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
