I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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