I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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