We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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