My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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