he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
