from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
