you guys were way drunker than both of me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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