he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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