i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
