Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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