Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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