so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
