Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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