Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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