No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
