Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
