if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
